Become a power listener
Ten years ago, a friend gave me a lovely little book, “The Art of Doing Nothing,” that encourages Type A personalities (like me) to relax, nap, drink and enjoy life. I discovered it the other day on my bookshelf and was drawn to the Art of Listening section. Listen to this…
“Far from being passive, listening to someone talk is an active, inspired, and often compassionate act of creation. The next time you attend a meeting, sit back, relax, listen. Be the designated listener. Note how much concentration it takes just to follow every word of a verbal exchange.
“The more you listen to others, the more they will seek your approval. Vigilance is a power magnet. When focused, your attention acts as the baton of a conductor. Silently, you can orchestrate the flow of ideas, influence the outcome of the conversation – or add to the confusion. Whoever listens most usually controls the situation.”
So, the next time you think the person doing all the talking, texting or blogging is the one with all the authority and power, scan the room for the person doing the most listening. Then go ask him or her for an opinion. I guarantee it will be a thoughtful and thought-provoking answer.
How poignant and powerful! For those of us who think and talk fast (and most probably too much), this advice is something that I wish I could tattoo on the inside of my eyelids. It is true of my husband and one of the qualities I admire most in him. Thank you for bringing this back to our attention. You’re the best!
One time someone in my group of friends said I was “too quiet,” to which another friend responded, “she’s a journalist — she’s not quiet, she’s being observant.”
I should try to get a hold of that book — might have some good tips to share with my students.
Rebecca, I’m happy to loan you the book. I think you just found the difference between journalists and some of the celebrity reporters. You listen. They talk! (and talk. and talk. and…)